


UTOPIA

by aruk



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Amaurotine Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-02 12:23:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20275858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aruk/pseuds/aruk
Summary: A distant—distant recollection.Emet-Selch, That Person, and an exploration of what might have been.





	UTOPIA

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [utopia](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/508630) by Efaia. 

> **Original author warnings/notes:**
> 
> There are massive spoilers for Shadowbringers main story through 5.0. I highly recommended you clear the expansion pack first before reading. 
> 
> This is an exploration of what Emet-Selch and That Person (Warrior of Light’s Ancient original) might have been like.
> 
> I wrote this as an outlet for all the feelings the main story gave me…though I still haven’t gotten it all out. About 98% of this is pure conjecture. If upcoming canon ends up sinking some of these ideas please have an open heart. You might have a different impression of Emet-Selch but please consider that this is purely my own take-away and to each their own.
> 
> As for “that person”, their gender and race is left up to the reader’s imagination but since my own WoL is an Au’ra girl that might have had some influence on the way I wrote them. 
> 
> **Translator notes:**
> 
> The original Japanese and the English localization of FFXIV have fairly different writing styles. In an effort to keep the atmosphere of the fic I’ve prioritized the translation over trying to make it match the _A Song of Ice and Fire_ style of the localization. I tried my best to pull the official names where they were used as well as used certain lines as they were written in English when appropriate but some terms in Japanese simply did not have English equivalents so I have done my best where I could.

* * *

  


A distant—

—distant recollection. 

  


**UTOPIA**

  


I thought I heard the sound of footsteps outside my office when the door flung open.

“Hades, look! I am positive this time will be successful!” 

Not even a greeting, but I had long grown accustomed to that. Coming to a halt before my desk, the intruder scarcely waited for a response before closing their eyes and focusing, light gathering at their fingertips. Creation magicks. 

With creation magicks, a single stray thought can make a dramatic difference in outcome. The process already started, I could do nothing but put my pen down and lean back in my chair to watch. 

They seemed sure of my gaze—though for someone who did not even wait for my acknowledgement, I had not the slightest idea where that confidence was from—and as if on cue, their eyes snapped open to meet mine. They grinned, and in that moment the room was swathed in light. The magick was a success. 

As the light faded and my eyes adjusted to the settling darkness, I looked at the results of said magicks. They were not…unexpected. 

I made a show of careful consideration. “I see this is a dog… or cat? Wait, no, it has wings so perhaps a bird?” 

“Pegasus! I was trying to make a Pegasus!” 

“Oh?” 

“Lahabrea showed it to me the other day when we were at Akadaemia Anyder… The body was similar to that of a horse but it had the most beautiful wings…” 

“Ah, a horse. I see.” 

What started as an impassioned explanation ended in unintelligible mumbling. The creature before our eyes did indeed possess wings, but its body more akin to a stuffed dog or cat. To be frank, its size was of that sort of species as well. 

Clearly disappointed, the creator of the supposed Pegasus grabbed the creature in their arms as it started flying around, all the while flapping tiny wings of every color. 

“I really studied the concept this time so I thought for sure I would succeed but…” 

“If you ask me, I would say your knowledge of biology is lacking. Knowing you, you likely had too many unnecessary thoughts about how cool or cute it was as well. Did Lahabrea’s registered Pegasus even have rainbow-colored wings?” 

“Yes, yes, I know, I have no taste.” 

I sighed; if they looked disappointed before, now they were just sulking. “There you go again, getting defensive. I said nothing of lack of taste, only lack of study.” 

I meant it. Frankly speaking, when it comes to non-biological creations their talents are off the charts. Jewels that seem to have the very night itself encased within, gossamers that shine with the radiance of a faerie’s wings; they have no shortage of passionate fans. Their specialty is probably in giving form to the abstract. In contrast, it seems they have difficulty with the recreation of things that already exist. 

“Study… Unlike some people here, Hades, I am no prodigy.” 

“Now see here—” 

I meant to retort but changed my mind and instead let out an exaggerated sigh. Rising from my chair, I plucked the living Pegasus-thing out of their arms and set it on the ground. Then, shutting out the two sets of gazes upon me, I closed my eyes and concentrated. 

What I brought forth to mind was the registered concept Lahabrea had previously introduced to me. Keeping a list of the proper components in mind as well as the necessary aether for the creation of a living creature, I focused on a mental image of its proper form. The moment I was certain of the properties, I snapped the fingers of my right hand, and the room was once again engulfed in light. When the light abated, there in the middle of the room, stood a phantasmagoric beast, iridescent feathers splayed in all their splendor.

“I suppose you are right. It is likely better for everyone if you leave this sort of thing to us _ prodigies _.” 

I resisted a smile of satisfaction and put as much sarcasm as I could into my response, but it was a wasted effort; they were not even listening, expression comically slack-jawed as they stared in wonder at the proper form of the Pegasus standing before us. 

“Hey, are you listening.” 

“Wow, this is—this is incredible, Hades! This is exactly what I was trying to make! I should have known you could do it!” 

Though rather unbecoming of a member of the Convocation, their voice was full of childlike wonder and their eyes shone with excitement. In this city of Amaurot where logic and reasoning are elevated as ideals, this person who wears their heart on their sleeve is considered rather unorthodox—yet that is part of their charm. 

_ “They are, what you might call, a natural airhead,” _ I once explained to Hythlodaeus. 

_ “Really?” _

_“Really. And good at it too. Sure, assisting the needy is all well and good but their manner of “assistance” usually results in a stack of tedious paperwork getting dropped onto _ ** _my_ ** _ desk. Why is it that when _ ** _they_ ** _ miss a meeting because they got caught up in helping a lost child find their parents, _ ** _I_ ** _ get stuck doing their share of the work? In the end they lifted not a single finger to help. They really drive me crazy!” _

_ Hythlodaeus chuckled, completely unsympathetic. _

_“What, pray tell, do you find so funny.” _

_ “Oh, nothing. I was just musing that despite your complaints, you always seem to be having fun.” _

_ “As usual, nonsense from the Dispenser of Nonsense.” _

_ “Is it really nonsense when everyone can see it but you?” _

_ Suspecting that continuing the conversation would only invite further ridicule, I sighed and shrugged in response but this time he just laughed outright. _

  


We have been described as mirror images; they, good-natured and easy-going_ (prone to action before thinking), _ and I, cynical and methodical _ (more inclined to an afternoon nap than hard labor)_. 

As twins; unlike in appearance yet one in our thoughts and actions. In our ability to communicate without speech. Cut from the same cloth, was how Hythlodaeus put it. 

Were I to be asked what they are to me, I would be hard-pressed to answer. Are we best friends? Accomplices? Family? Partners? Both none and all of the above. There is no singular term that exists that could describe our relationship. 

But—ah, yes. If there is one thing I could say about them it is that they are an irreplaceable part of me. 

In the past, someone once compared us to the sun and the moon. I would like to politely and emphatically disagree. 

The sun and the moon cannot exist in the same sky. 

What are they to me? They are my companion, my support, the one I will spend my life with. 

Not, of course, that I will ever tell them that. 

  


“Right. I will name it Hades.” 

“Absolutely not.” 

There are certain suggestions so outrageous I cannot let slide. Leading both protesting creature and the Pegasus out of the room, I had a thought; at this size, one could even take to the skies on its back. 

The weather is nice as well today. 

Seen from above, this sunlit city is undoubtedly a splendid sight.

  


This was but a single moment in eternity.

Yes. From a time when we still thought all was eternal.

  


* * *

  


At first, it was dismissed as a trifle.

Across the sea, creation magicks had been used without intent, resulting in a creature of ugliness and a ferocious nature. A nightmarish ‘Beast’, so to speak. 

That is not to say there had not been similar instances in the past. In fact, Lahabrea’s staff had already captured the Beast in question for further study, and had taken steps to implement preventative measures. We considered the matter resolved. 

…Until suddenly, the fabric of our star began to fray.

What we had thought a local incident began to spread, similar ‘Beasts’ appearing all over the world as if it were the latest epidemic. From the research done on the first, we were able to conclude that the Beast was a physical manifestation of people’s fears. Fear, pain, despair…the emotions felt by those who encountered the creatures would in turn spawn new ones. They say that fear begets fear, and with the energy generated in perpetuity by this cycle, those selfsame Beasts called down unto this planet a punishment from the heavens. Meteor.

The Convocation of the Fourteen were forced to come to a decision. 

The belief that normal methods would not be able to prevent the Calamity was already wide-spread among the common public, and so it fell to we of the Convocation to determine how humanity should best proceed. Though the capital city of Amaurot, where we were headquartered, had yet to have any direct contact with the Calamity, it was clear to all that it was only a matter of time.

Knowing it was time we did not have, the Convocation made a decision. 

‘The Will of the Star’, we called it. A plan to imbue the star with its own will. We would use our creation magicks and bring into being an existence that could repair the fundamental laws of order. Create a God, and halt the spread of destruction. 

However, creation on such a scale requires an immense source of power, far beyond what any one person is capable of. No, what was needed was Life itself. To the extent of approximately half of what remained on the planet. 

From a humanitarian standpoint, it was an unthinkable suggestion. But our star had already been ravaged to a point where, without that level of sacrifice, saving it would have been impossible.

That was the conclusion we arrived at.

  


It was around that time that they came to me. “I need to tell you something.” 

What they said then—their meaning, their words—I understood it all and yet still, my instinctive response was to ask, “What did you say?” 

“I am withdrawing from the Convocation.” 

Their voice was quiet, but resolute. 

“What do you intend to accomplish by your withdrawal?” 

“I…intend to cross the ocean. Go to where the first Beast appeared. I hope that by understanding how this Calamity started, we might find a way to stop it.” 

Their answer was not unexpected. Deep down, I had known what they were going to say. 

“I heard that the Continent has become a no man’s land. What you want to do is futile.” 

“But—“

I cut them off, “besides, there is no time left.” 

What I said was the truth but, more than that, I wanted to hear no more on this subject. In the field of debate and discussion, giving into one’s emotions and refusing to listen to the views of others is the height of foolishness. I knew that. But I felt that if I heard them out—if I let them finish—there would be no turning back. We would be doomed to part. 

“We came to this conclusion as a group, did we not? If we fail to act soon, even that may be too late.”

“I know. I know that. I know at this point, The Will of the Star is the most realistic plan we have.” 

“If you understand then—“ 

“I do know that, but still—I simply cannot believe… This Calamity was brought about by our very own creation magicks. Something tells me that using that same creation magicks… No matter how much I try, I just do not believe that fighting fire with fire is the right solution.” 

“…Take that back. You slander those who have already volunteered to take part.” 

My tone was perhaps colder than intended and they faltered, dejected.

“I apologize. You are right, of course. With no countermeasure in mind, I have no right to criticize the plan.” 

While the plan had yet to be revealed to the public, the details were known among a small group of contributing researchers and capitol staff. Within that group were more than a few people who, understanding full well what would be requested of them, had already offered to participate. 

I knew no slight was intended, but even so, I could not let their words go unchallenged. I admit, my own inability to provide an alternative solution may have caused me to lash out unfairly. 

A silence like death fell between us. A small part of me hoped that this meant they had given up, but I knew them too well. 

“Even so— I want to try. If there is even the slightest possibility, the slightest chance of a path to salvation without sacrifice…! I want to keep looking, up until the very end.” 

“Calm yourself. You let sentiment control your sense of reason. As members of the Convocation, we have a responsibility to choose the path that has the greatest chance of saving this star from annihilation. Even if it means we have to bear with this pain for a time.” 

“I agree. But I cannot choose that path and for that reason I must withdraw from the Convocation.” 

Those words were what started this conversation, and I knew that continuing it would be a futile effort. If there is one thing I have never succeeded in doing, it is changing this person’s mind. Knowing that, I still wanted to stall for just a little bit longer. In the end, perhaps I was the sentimental one, and bringing our discussion full circle was their way of pointing that out. 

I fell silent, at a loss for words. Sensing I had no response, they turned away, and headed towards the door. They stopped once, hesitating, and looked back at me over their shoulder. 

“…Hades. This is my ego. I do want to find a solution without sacrifice—that part is true. But…I am not doing this for the sake of humanity, or anything grand like that.” I could only see part of their face in profile, but their smile was one of self-derision. “This plan that requires over half of humanity in sacrifice… can anyone guarantee it will not ask for even more next time? If, when it comes to that, the next sacrifice it asks for is _ your _life…I will not be able to accept it.”

“…” 

“What I am really doing is running away. Are you disappointed? To see a member of the Convocation—well, former member—be so selfish.”

  


—if that is the case, then perhaps what I feel too is just my ego. You leaving the Convocation, abandoning the plan…choosing a different path than the one we should. I felt a pain I could not describe, and at the same time, relief. 

We, the Convocation, are meant to be an unwavering pillar of support for the hearts of men. For both the sake of that image and as a source of strength, I, as a member, have an obligation to detain you at all costs. 

But the magick required by the plan will put a heavy burden on the shoulders of those in charge of performing it. To participate is equivalent to asking an unquantifiable number of people to throw away everything for our sake. To ask of others what we, as the casters of said magicks, can not ourselves do. 

For someone so dull to their own pain, they have always been overly empathic. Should they take part in this plan they cannot condone, I am sure that kind heart of theirs would not survive.

To sacrifice one’s life for the sake of our star. To shoulder the burden of those sacrifices and continue living despite the cost.

The resolve to discard others, and the resolve to be discarded.

Despite compelling others to choose between two equally cruel fates, the relief I felt knowing this one individual need not choose either… if that is not my ego, then what is? 

It goes without saying the path they intend to take is not one without difficulties either. But it is a path of their own choosing, rather than one forced upon them. If it is of their own volition, then at least their heart might remain intact. 

  


“…Promise me one thing.” That my voice did not waver when I threw those words at their back should be applauded, if I do say so myself. “It matters not what form. Come back to me.” 

I could see their shoulders quivering, their hand shaking on the door. They shook their head, as if they had something to say, but in the end said nothing. The nod they gave instead was so slight I nearly missed it.

I was left with naught but the echo of the door shutting behind them.

With a sigh, I sank back into my chair. Looking out the window at Amaurot’s cityscape, I thought back to an old lady I met on the streets the other day. 

_"‘Tis only a matter of time until Amaurot, too, resounds to that discordant squall. You should stay with your loved ones, child... Stay with them…” _

I knew not even her name. 

_ “I need to tell you something.” _ Perhaps I had sensed the end was near. I had been wandering listlessly throughout the city, avoiding what would be our parting—I suppose my thoughts had been painted on my face. 

Maybe I should have gone with them. 

…No, had I done so, I would be betraying my own principles. 

I have my own beliefs, and my own resolve. They are why I chose this path. 

“…I apologize for not being able to take your advice, good madam.” My smile was bitter. I spoke to an empty room. 

  


The harbinger of the Calamity: the First Beast, would assail the city two days later.

  


* * *

  


Shrieks of terror and fiendish roars filled the air. 

Upon the spire that boasts the tallest view in Amaurot, I looked upon a city of rubble, engulfed in flames. Before me, another skyscraper crumbled to dust. The sky consumed by the slowly descending expanse of the approaching meteor; summoned by the monsters below.

In the middle of it all, the Final Beast’s silhouette loomed.

Therion. 

The name given to the Fiend of the Final Days. Its approach gave rise to calamity and its arrival in the city gave no cause to wonder what awaited. 

“It is time, Emet-Selch.” 

From behind, I heard a voice call out to me. A voice whose owner I need not see to recognize. The head of the Convocation of the Fourteen: Lahabrea. 

I closed my eyes. To know I would be here—he knows me well. 

—I suppose they were too late. 

Even with our numbers reduced, the preparations for our plan proceeded on schedule. Smothered as I was by the amount of work involved, I had little time to worry about anything but the task at hand. Still, a small part of me expected something—anything—to happen. 

But nothing did. With no correspondence, I had no way of knowing what they were doing or where they were. 

“…” 

The dismay I felt was undeserved. Still, my heart was heavy, weighed down as if by rocks. I tried to swallow my disappointment, and opened my eyes. 

There was a glint of something shining at my feet. A rainbow-colored feather...

...In the end, they named that Pegasus “Emet-Selch”. 

_ “I never call you by your title anyway so there should be no issue,” _was the explanation given, but it was for precisely that reason I never felt anything but a strange discomfort hearing that name in their voice. 

I have not seen a hint of that Pegasus since their departure. I expect they took it with them. 

For a moment, that stunning, aerial view I remember so clearly from that day overlapped with that of the ruins below me. But before I could let the sudden rush of loneliness overtake me, a sudden gust of wind stole the feather out of my hands. 

The land buckled; the cities burned; the waters ran red with blood… Even the wind had long since ceased to blow. And yet somehow, that small spot of light, riding upon a breeze that should no longer exist, vanished into skies stained red. 

I suppose we have passed the point of no return. My now empty hands clenched into a fist. 

This is the path I have chosen.

Turning my back on everything, I joined Lahabrea. 

“Let us go, old man. It is time to save this star.” 

  


* * *

  


Were we to start at the end, 'The Will of the Star' was a success.

In sacrificing half of humanity, we brought into this world the being we named Zodiark who reached forth, and halted the march of oblivion.

However, that did not mean the suffering our star had undergone had been undone. The land blighted, the water poisoned, so many species already lost.

“Let us make another wish to Zodiark. Restore the cycle of life.” 

Who was it that first offered that proposition? It was approved without much debate. Though the Calamity was diverted, it was clear to anyone that all we had accomplished was delaying the inevitable. Our star was still on the verge of collapse. 

We decided to offer another half of our race in sacrifice.

_ “Please, cleanse this world and restore to it Life, as it was before the Calamity.” _

What could I have said to those who came to me with that entreaty, clutching my hands as if in prayer. Begging me to save the future, though they themselves would not live to see it.

I told myself this was the only way. 

It was nothing but an excuse to ease the guilt off my own shoulders.

  


Zodiark made our wish a reality, and returned life to our star. The cycle of life began anew; the trees and flowers and myriad tiny lives sprouted and began to flourish.

At the same time, the weight of the souls we carried grew heavier. 

Their memories, their hopes, their dreams...their despair. Reduced to a mere fraction of what we were, we reconsidered the means by which we could protect our world from like tragedy. 

Before our newly revived star, the Convocation decided thus: 

We would nurture our world until it was bursting with vitality. Then, when the time came, we would offer those lives to Zodiark, as a replacement for our brethren whose souls had been consumed for His strength, and have them resurrected upon this land. Together, we would once again resume our roles as stewards. 

The new life born from Zodiark’s power was still weak in comparison to those of our brethren. Should humanity repeat history, we worried we would be unable to prevent it. 

With Lahabrea at the head, we decided on this path, and thought all we had to do was wait. One day all would return to the way it was. 

  


It did not come to pass.

There were those who felt that the future of this world should belong to the lives newly born. They created a being of opposition. In the same manner that we had done.

  


* * *

  


It was as if the world itself was screaming. The ground shook from the force of a war waged between gods. 

Presumably due to the number of sacrifices involved in its summon, the being known as Hydaelyn was weaker than Zodiark in terms of strength. However, the prayers that invoked Her existence involved a strong wish to seal Zodiark away and so She was created with the power to enervate Her foe. As a rival entity.

For we who lived before the Calamity, it was the first time in history our people stood divided. Yet as this battle of gods began, there was nothing to be done but watch and pray. 

We of the Convocation were no exception. We had no choice but to watch in awe as Zodiark and Hydaelyn fought above us. 

In the middle of that splendor, a glint of prismatic light cut through the chaos and caught my eye. 

“Is that—” 

“Emet-Selch?”  
  
I heard Mitron call out to me, but before I realized I was already moving. In the distance, I saw that streak of light arc through the sky like a meteor towards a small hill far north of Amaurot. I rushed after it, certain of what it was. 

My suspicion was confirmed as I approached the figure standing on that hilltop. 

“I knew you would figure it out.” 

Their back faced me, unchanged from that day so long ago. 

You have returned, I made to say, but before the words could leave my mouth I noticed something amiss. From within that form I sensed the same source of power that pulsed through the air above us. The power of Hydaelyn. 

I clenched my fist, consumed with a feeling I could not put a name to. 

“So this is the answer you came to. You, who denied a salvation made from creation magicks, in the end decided to rely on that selfsame magick. To rely on Hydaelyn?” 

“Hades…” 

When they finally turned to face me, they looked on the verge of tears. 

“I have no defense. Your anger, your disappointment...I deserve them. In the end, I could find no alternative path to save this star.” Hanging their head, they spat their words out like blood. That cheerful expression they were so known for nowhere to be found. Somehow it upset me more than I thought. “Useless as I have been, I know I have no right to speak of others. But still, I had to stop you.” 

“Stop me?” 

They looked away from me, a nostalgic smile playing on their lips. 

“This world you restored to us, I have seen it. I have lived with those very lives you returned. They have no knowledge of the Calamity, or to what lengths you have gone to protect this star. Even so they think this world is beautiful.” 

“...” 

“...Hades. The Convocation is planning to use them to bring back our brethren, are they not?”

“...Yes. These new lives are still weak and know nothing of the horrors we have been through. In order to prevent such a tragedy from ever repeating, the most logical course of action is to resurrect our brethren and once again become stewards of this star.” 

“Do you really think that?” Their stare seemed to pierce through me. Unintentionally, I averted my gaze. They took that as my answer, and continued. “You, of all people, should know. We were able to avoid the destruction of our star by relying on the power of Zodiark. We were able to restore the cycle of life to this world. Without Zodiark this would not have been possible. But if we ask for more...if we keep sacrificing the lives of our brethren in order to grant our wish...we will fall into a never ending cycle. Even more so if we start using the lives of others.” 

“That—”

“We live nigh for eternity but that does not mean we are immortal. Just like during the Calamity, we are still capable of death. If a similar event were to happen and our brethren once again reduce in number, do you plan to offer sacrifices to that _ thing _ again?” 

For a moment I was at a loss for words. I felt those same uncertainties when the Convocation first came up with the plan. 

Complacency is human nature. As long as a method exists to grant wishes humanity will never be able to abandon it. 

But—but even so. 

“We made a promise to those who gave of themselves to stop the Calamity and revive this star. That we would never allow a tragedy such as this to happen again. This is a necessary sacrifice in order to keep that promise. The resurrection of those who gave up their lives without hesitation for this star is directly connected to its protection.” 

“The source of the Calamity was none other than ourselves! Not the new lives you believe yourselves superior to. It was a disaster brought down by those of us who lived before it. The price that was paid in order to prevent it can_ not _ be shifted onto the shoulders of those who had no part! These lives you want to sacrifice have their own feelings, their own hopes and dreams—people they love.” 

“...How hypocritical. Can you say the same before those who gave their lives to Zodiark? Before their families, their loved ones?!” 

In my anger I shouted my response, but they did not avert their eyes. They met my gaze with a determination that bordered on heroic. Tragic. 

“...Yes. This is the same as giving up on those that were sacrificed. The same as asking them to stay dead, for the sake of the living. Even so, in order to break this chain of sacrifice I will shoulder that sin. And as one who lived before the Calamity, as one who failed to find another way—I will use this magick that lays waste to life one last time. That is what we decided.” 

They did not specify who ‘we’ were. I assumed they referred to the summoners of Hydaelyn. Just as we shouldered the prayers of the lives given unto Zodiark, they too must have shouldered the prayers of the lives given unto Hydaelyn.

Despite having summoned Hydaelyn in the same manner Zodiark was summoned, that they are here with me now must mean they have resolved to do what they must.

They continued speaking. 

“Hades, let us put an end to the sacrifice. What we should be doing is not the stewardship of this star. We should instead be watching over the Life that our brethren gave theirs to save. Is that not how we should use the gift of their lives?” 

“—That…” 

Such a thing can only be said because they know nothing of those lost to Zodiark. And yet, I too, know nothing of those lives newly born; lives they have lived with and spoken to.

We really do have so much in common.

So intent on protecting that which we hold most dear, we gave all else up as lost, and have failed to protect anything at all. 

A bitter smile came unwittingly to my lips and their expression faltered. I made to respond, but before our conversation could continue we were interrupted. 

“Emet-Selch!” 

Lahabrea. He probably heard from Mitron. Turning around, I saw Elidibus had followed. 

“You...!” 

Likely sensing the power of Hydaelyn within the person before me, Lahabrea made to say something but that, too, was interrupted. A dissonant sound resounded through the air, so loud we were forced to cover our ears.

The world cracked. 

Above, Hydaelyn had struck Zodiark with a single, devastating blow. But that one blow, unconfined to Zodiark, had an effect on the star itself. 

“The world… it is… being sundered…” 

Who was it that said that. 

Like a mirror shattered upon the ground, the edge of the world was rapidly crumbling and falling to pieces. Another shock assaulted our surroundings and in that same moment the earth cried out and a huge fissure opened between they and I. 

“————!” 

This is the end—the panic I felt at that thought caused me to forget everything and call out their name. But even that sound was lost in the chaos. 

“Emet-Selch!” 

“We can no longer wait. Let us hurry, Elidibus. Get Emet-Selch.” 

I heard Lahabrea’s voice nearby and felt Elidibus attempt to pull me into the Realm of Darkness—into an Aetherial Rift. I shook him off and stretched out my hand. 

Unmoving on the other side of the fissure, they smiled sadly and shook their head. 

“I chose this path. I will see it through.” 

“Wait!” 

This time, Elidibus succeeded in pushing me into the portal. As I fell into the Rift, I watched the world before me drain of all color.

“Hades, “

The sound was lost. I saw their lips move before even their figure was swallowed by a sea of white. 

  


The light that sundered the world—that sundered life itself. 

That tragic radiance is one I will never forget.

  


* * *

  


“What... is this.” 

When we emerged from the Rift and saw what had become of our home, we knew not what to say.

“It is—scattered.” 

Our once beautiful star had been shattered into fourteen fragments. Not just the planet, but the very existences upon it. 

After a period of observation, we found that no matter the shard, the lives of the inhabitants were alarmingly finite, feeble, and frail. Each world was also beginning to form its own individual peculiarities.

Most shocking of all was the mental immaturity of this newly sundered humanity.

Perhaps because their lives were so finite, we found them to be foolish and conceited, prone to anger, consumed by hate, and constantly at odds. To us, they looked no more than malformed creatures thrashing blindly about. Pitiful. Disturbing. Depressing.

  


“Let us rejoin the worlds.” 

It was Lahabrea who suggested this plan. Of the Convocation, only three members survived: Lahabrea, Elidibus, and myself. There were others who escaped into the Rift, but the Rift alone was not enough to withstand Hydaelyn’s attack. Had Lahabrea not managed to raise a barrier of Zodiark’s power just before the star shattered, we too, would have been sundered. 

“By rejoining all the shards into the Source, Zodiark should regain His strength as well. We can then once again wish for the return of our brethren…” 

Neither Elidibus nor I had any objection. 

And so it was that our grand plan was put into motion. 

The Calamities wrought by tipping the elemental balance of a mirror shard would cause a crack in the barrier that kept those worlds apart. Through that crack we could rejoin the worlds. Using this theory as a base, we began sowing the seeds of discord that would bring about the collapse of each shard’s equilibrium.

  


I have seen a world drowned in water, its every landmass lost to the sea.

A world whose time was frozen in ice, never to thaw.

A world engulfed in the flames of a living purgatory; its land and sky a Hell taken form. 

Even a world so consumed by darkness it could not be rejoined. 

  


It was twelve thousand years of effort for half—for seven of the worlds to be rejoined.

For we who live nigh for eternity, twelve thousand years is not a particularly long stretch of time. All the same, it was a difficult journey. 

Each time we acted to rejoin a shard, a hero of that world would appear. To be fair, destroying the elemental balance—the force needed to break the dimensional barrier between worlds—usually involved plunging the world into chaos, so some level of resistance from the inhabitants was to be expected. 

But the longer we continued our efforts, the more our mental fortitude wavered. 

Even amongst us three Paragons of the Source, Lahabrea had been especially enthusiastic about the Rejoining. For the sake of our plan, he possessed and mimicked such a great number of people that, in the process, he may have lost his focus. More than once I wondered if he acted only on Zodiark’s influence.

“And what about you?”

The one time I broached this topic with Elidibus, that was what he said to me. 

“Me? I prefer to keep the same form unless absolutely necessary so I should be in no danger of losing my sense of self.” 

“On the contrary, I would dare say you have too strong a sense of self.” 

“...” 

“The Rejoining is everything to us but should you shoulder too heavy a burden, all that awaits you is your own destruction.” 

“My, my, _ The Emissary _ sure is a worrier. You need not trouble yourself with concern for me, I will handle my part with the usual finesse.” 

Returning his comment with a laugh, I returned to my current place of 'work'. 

  


On the Source, we sowed the seeds of war. We had come to understand, by trial and error, that the most efficient method was to create an entity of great influence that could be used as a pawn to manipulate the state of affairs in the world.

My latest creation, the great Garlean empire, was one such thing. Created by developing magitek for years as 'Solus of the Garlemald Republic', while its scale falls a bit short of the Allagan Empire—a masterpiece, if I do say so myself—as a spark of mayhem it does the job.

With the overwhelmingly powerful Emperor Solus effortlessly subjugating country after country, the Garlean citizens grew drunk on their own nationalism and forgot they were once a weak people, driven into desolation for their inability to use magic. The most foolish, easily manipulated of pawns.

_"These lives you want to sacrifice have their own feelings, their own hopes and dreams—people they love."_

I know that. 

But if we—if we give up here. Then what will happen to the hopes and dreams we were entrusted with? 

These ‘people’ are weak and foolish, quick to anger and violence at the slightest disagreement, with no qualms about betraying those they once called friends.

This star, revived at the cost of so many of our brethren—I cannot leave it to these fragmented existences. 

“...Yes, they are nothing but fragmented existences. They can hardly be considered truly living. Did you really think there was any value in watching over them?” 

Of course there was no one to answer my question and it disappeared into the darkness.

  


* * *

  


“...Lahabrea is dead?” 

“Yes.” 

It had been a long time since I last met Elidibus. 

“I see. So of the Paragons of the Source, only you and I remain. It may be worth the time to seek out some of our sundered brethren.” 

“...” 

“Is there a problem?” 

Elidibus had never been one of many words, but his silence struck me as strange. When he finally answered, he refused to look me in the eye.

“...It has to do with the one who brought about Lahabrea’s destruction.” 

“Ah, the so-called ‘Warrior of Light’? Nabriales was killed by that same ‘Hero’ as well, was he not? Well, I always did think the old man stuck his nose into matters too much. He should have set the stage and left everything to play out naturally. His direct participation was tantamount to asking to have the carpet pulled out from underneath him.” 

“...” 

Elidibus still refused to meet my gaze. Covered as it was by his mask, it was difficult to discern his expression. But before I could ask again he answered. 

“That ‘Hero’ is headed for the First. I believe that shard is currently under your jurisdiction.” 

“...That is the case but...a human crossing the worlds? With their body?” 

“It seems they were summoned. I know not how. But that is not the main problem.” 

“You are being incredibly vague. What is it you wish to say?” 

“...You will understand when you see them.” 

As if to reject any further inquiry, Elidibus disappeared into the darkness. 

With no other choice, I returned to the First, and there I finally understood what Elidibus was trying to tell me.

“So that is what you meant.” 

Beneath the pillar I stood on, I watched the retreating figures of a small group of people.

In the twelve thousand years hence, I have never once encountered a fragment of theirs, no matter how much I wandered the worlds. Why now? 

The Hero of the Source. The Warrior of Light. 

And unmistakably—the owner of that soul. 

  


At first it was just a whim. 

Mayhap—for the owner of that soul—there is another way. One which does not require bloodshed. 

I made a gamble. 

If, upon defeating all the Lightwardens, the Hero can harness the level of Light needed to return balance to this world—then perhaps we may yet find another solution together. As equals.

  


I introduced myself as an ‘Ascian’ and received an incredible, though not unexpected, glare. 

Extending an olive branch, I offered to try and reach a point of mutual understanding. Although the Hero suspected my intentions at first, eventually they began to speak to me with an earnestness that bordered on familiar.

Beyond all odds, I came to enjoy imparting my knowledge to this Hero and found myself telling them all manner of things. I was reminded of that person; overly eager in their studies, unmindful of my time, a never ending slew of questions until they understood what they were struggling with. The similarities were clear as day.

“Ah, the vibrant energy that fills the air when like-minded souls gather. Some things truly do not change.” 

When alone together, I found myself dropping my guard. Having seen nothing but quarrels over trifling differences in opinion, watching this Hero and their companions guide the citizens of Eulmore to a reconciliation was frankly astonishing. I would go so far to say it was worthy of applause. 

“Did you… did Ascians ever rally like this?” 

“What, do you believe us ancient beings incapable of shedding blood or tears? I am sorry to disappoint you, but we are not so unalike, you and I.” 

They seemed surprised. I knew already what they thought of us, but it frustrated me still.

“It was a good world. Men knew peace and contentment, and with our adamant souls, our lives were near eternal. There was no conflict born of want or disparity. Our differences paled into insignificance next to all we had in common. And then there was Amaurot... Never was a city more magnificent. From the humblest of streets to the highest of spires, she fairly gleamed…”

They had not asked, but I wanted them to know. I wanted them to understand. 

Perhaps I wanted them to sympathize. 

It is as I said. We too, feel all the range of emotions they feel. 

For we who live nigh for eternity, twelve thousand years is not a particularly long stretch of time. Still, the loneliness I felt was suffocating.

“Not that you would remember any of this.”  
  
“...Remember?”  
  
The twinge of pain I felt at their confusion can only be attributed to my own foolishness. 

“Never mind. The point is: the world of old was a far better place than what we have now. I believe you would like it, having witnessed the things you have.” 

The world before the Calamity. At the very least, it was not a world where a small handful of good Samaritans had to sell body and soul in order to keep it safe. 

Their soul has been so stained with Light I could hardly make out its original color. Looking away, I found myself thinking of the Final Days. 

The Hero will likely be unable to withstand the final Light. 

I admit, I miscalculated. When the time comes, the First will be doomed to the Light after all. 

Having come to this, I cannot allow the Exarch to interfere. With the power they used to traverse the shards, I imagine they intend to first gather the Light collected by the Hero before vanishing into the Rift. Thus saving the Hero at the cost of their own life.

If a partnership is no longer possible, I will not allow such a pitiful end. The Exarch possesses knowledge even we Ascians do not. I shall take him, and have the Hero continue the destruction of this world as the greatest of Lightwardens, a final symbol of despair.

  


But, mayhaps—mayhaps this Hero will be the same. Unwilling to give up, unwilling to stop struggling.

If I were to clash with them with all the power of darkness I possess, then even the Light within them would… 

  


Well then, a worthy stage must be prepared for the grand finale. 

The city of nostalgic longing; the birthplace of my every regret; the place where our dreams yet slumber.

The phantom city of Amaurot.

  


* * *

  


“Hades———!” 

The Aether blade formed by the Hero flew strong and true, ripping through this body. Unable to to escape into Rift, the last of my remaining strength scattered and disappeared. 

The memory of the Final Days, given form by way of magick and amplified by the power of darkness, vanished around us. With the city of Amaurot—for the first time in an age, once again bathed in light—behind us, we faced each other. 

Perhaps some part of me expected this outcome, for my heart was strangely at peace. 

“Remember us. Remember that we once lived…” 

The Hero nodded. 

That soul is still but a fragment—they are not the same person. 

But that spark they hold, it is the same color as the rainbow they once created. 

In the end, I cannot deny that the soul before me is theirs. 

No longer a soul stained with Light beyond recognition, but rather that same, familiar glimmer I would so often see in this city so very long ago. 

  


Ah, that is right. 

I suppose you have finally returned.

Even if you no longer remember this city or that era. 

By the choices you made, and the results that came of them, you have traced your footsteps back to this place. 

I wonder if I was able to protect that soul of yours in the end. 

  


If that is the case, then it is well with my soul. 

I can finally let go of your memory. 

  


_ “Hades, live on.” _

  


I did indeed live. In my own way, as much as I was capable of. 

Because of you, though, I have truly gone through a great deal. Do you not agree it is about time I take some repose? 

The rest I leave to you. To you, and the Hero who holds your soul.

...Not to worry, I will be just over on the other side of the Sea of Aether, taking an afternoon nap while I wait for you to come regale me with tales of your adventures. 

  


As my consciousness faded into the empty sky, I recalled a conversation from long ago. 

  


_ “...Hey, Hades, do you have a dream?” _

_ “This is very sudden. Why do you ask?” _  
_  
“Oh, no reason in particular. I just realized I have not the faintest idea what your dreams and aspirations are…”_

_ “Well, I suppose I never said. On the other hand, I have heard more than enough about your silly dreams. To eat all the candy in the world, to ride on a flying petrel, etcetera, etcetera.” _

_ “They are _ ** _not_ ** _ silly!” _

_ I dismissed their indignation with a wave of my hand, and thought for a moment before replying. _

_ “I would love to abandon such troublesome busywork like the Convocation and have a very, very long vacation.” _

_ “That is less dream and more desire to play truant. Is your dream to take an endless afternoon nap?” _

_“Oh, that sounds nice. An afternoon nap would be very nice indeed.” _

  


I smiled a bit, recalling the part of my answer I did not voice. 

Should my wish be granted—

—Traveling the world with you would not be so bad either. Just like that day, looking over our beautiful city together from so far above—this time upon an unknown land… 

  


Ah, such an old, old—  


**Author's Note:**

> This is a translation of a Japanese Emet-Selch/Ancient!WoL fic by [Efaia](https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=1396416)-san on Pixiv.  
I asked for and was given permission to do so: [here](https://twitter.com/akakumoeteru/status/1156679257625526272)  
Link to original fic on Pixiv: [here](https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=11465537)  
Link to original fic post on Twitter: [here](https://twitter.com/efa_starfall/status/1156121304652644353)
> 
> **Translator’s personal notes:**
> 
> The original fic made a ton of people cry in the Japanese fandom and in my opinion is one of the most beautiful character pieces for Emet-Selch I’ve ever read. It moved me to the point that I desperately wanted to share it with friends who don’t read Japanese and so I asked if I could translate it into English. This is my first effort at an actual translation and as both a hobbyist and as a person who doesn’t generally write fanfiction, I can only hope that my translation did the original fic even a little bit of justice. 
> 
> Thank you so much to my friend [Shiki](https://twitter.com/shikiinai) who helped check my translation, did initial beta work, and did 99% of the monumental task of comparing the English and Japanese versions of the game for official terms and phrases. And who cried with me over this fic when it was first posted. 
> 
> Thank you also to [Sin](https://twitter.com/zhyphenth), who helped with secondary beta work and making sure it was acceptable to post to the public. 
> 
> And thank you, thank you, thank you to Efaia-san whose beautiful fic I am still not over.
> 
> **Update:** For anyone who is interested, I wrote up some translation notes... I wasn't sure this deserved a separate chapter so it's over on Privatter [here](https://privatter.net/p/4889172). It's nothing big, but provides some clarification on translation and wording choices for a few sections plus some context for certain terms that did not have an official English localization equivalent.
> 
> **Update2:** A huge thank you to everyone who took the time to leave comments whether on Twitter or here on AO3. I gathered all of what I could find and translated them all into Japanese for Efaia-san to read. While she can't respond directly she's so grateful everyone took the time to read and enjoy her story. I will try my best to convey any other comments this story may receive in the future to her as well.


End file.
